As promised.... here's a recap of the wedding I attended on Saturday. It was super fun for me because I've gotten to know the couple and their families pretty well during my internship.
First, many people gathered at the home of the bride's parents. It's tradition for the community to go to their home so that they can escort the bride to the ceremony. The groom's community stands outside the gate of the family property and the brides community stands within the gate. Since the bride and groom are both from Sukari, everyone just picked which side to be on. The groom's side (his parents, siblings, extended family, and some church members) stood outside the gate and sang. The people inside the gate pretended not to hear and said if they wanted the gate open, they needed to make more noise (which they did happily). For a while there's back and forth banter between the two sides and it gets louder and louder). After we had woken up the whole neighborhood at 8am on a Saturday, the gate was opened and the singing/celebrating continued. Everyone pranced up to the front of the house and a red carpet was rolled out for the bride. Everyone sang Kikuyu choruses until she appeared in the doorway.
Then the groom's parents walked up the red carpet to meet the bride and her parents on the porch. They were received with many hugs. Then the fathers of both the bride and groom were given the opportunity to say kind words about how happy they were to be gaining a new son/daughter. Then the bride's father prayed for the day. L to R: Groom's father (African shirt), brides's father (collar), bride, bride's mother (pink), and the groom's mother (red and navy).
Then the groom's parents escorted the bride up the red carpet and into the car.
The church ceremony began as soon as we all got to the church. Kenyan weddings are much more lively than American weddings. The entire bridal party dances up the isle and it's quite a production. As the groomsmen escorted their respective bridesmaids up the isle, each couple had coordinating dance moves. All the dancing certainly set the tone for the celebratory occasion.
After the wedding party was in place, the bride was escorted down the isle by both her parents. At the front of the church, they were received by the groom and his parents.
In the US, we often think of a wedding as two families coming together. Here, that's the case too but it is even more evident in the ceremony traditions. The fathers of both families gave speeches about the occasion and the parents greeted one another. Then the couple escorted each other to exchange words of thanks to the other person's parents for raising their partner. Then the couple kneeled and their parents prayed over their marriage. It was very meaningful for all family members involved.
The rest of the ceremony was very similar to many weddings I've seen, but there were a few differences. If a couple gets married within the PCEA, they must use set vows and may not write their own. Also, When rings are exchanged, they hold their hands up in the air so everyone can witness the exchange. Also, PDA is super taboo here. I've never seen any couple show affection in public (except for during a wedding ceremony). After the couple is officially wed, the pastor invites the groom to "greet his wife in the way he knows best." This is the only occasion anyone will ever see them kiss. This couple is very fun and light-hearted. So when the pastor said these words to the groom, all the groomsmen ran up to the groom as if to prepare him for this occasion; checking his breath, handing him chapstick, and getting him pumped up to kiss his wife. This was definitely out of the ordinary and everyone found it hilarious.
Then there was a sermon and all the ministers prayed over the couple (there were lots of them because the bride is a preacher's daughter). Then all the married couples in the room came and danced around the couple.
Then the bride, groom, best man, maid of honor, and pastor all signed the marriage licence in the presence of everyone there. After that there was a sermon about how love needs to be trusting and then the bridal party danced back up the isle and out to the reception.
After visiting with many of the guests, we walked back to the manse to get in the car and go to the reception. Much to our surprise, we found the entire bridal party there. The groomsmen were taking group photos and the bridesmaids were laying out a quick lunch for all of them. We had no idea they were coming and just sat back and watched the whole thing go down. We all left together and headed to the reception.
There we had our lunch and sat with all the other guests. There were over 700 of them! Unlike the US, pretty much everyone you (or your parents) know is invited to your wedding. Invitations are read aloud in every church service for a month leading up to your wedding and you never quite know how many people will show up. This was the biggest reception I've attended. They had lots of traditional Kenyan food. I even got to try Kenyan barbecue.
When the bridal party arrived, everyone did a ceremonial dance (basically a conga line) to escort them into the reception. There was lots of singing involved too. Then there were lots of speeches and everyone hand delivered their gifts to the bride and groom which definitely took a while. After that was finished, there was dancing. If you're Christian, secular music of any kind is a big no-no, so only Kenyan gospel was playing (someone told me this.... I had no idea because none of it was in English). It was pretty much just youth (aka twenty-somethings) line dancing. One person made up dance moves in the front and everyone else followed. It looked like lots of fun, but I couldn't join in because "Pastors shouldn't dance." So, I took some great videos instead.
The cake cutting marked the end of the reception. Everyone ate cake with their hands (which apparently is custom here because silverware only showed up when the white people did in the early twentieth century). Also, the bridal party shook up sodas and sprayed them on each other to celebrate. It was a very fun occasion and it helped balance out all the funerals I've been attending. While many of the traditions were different than I'm used to, there are a few that I hope to take home with me. ~ Nell in Nairobi
